Geez… Can’t a guy just get a cheese burger?

Seconds later, reports confirmed Metzger had moved on from the burger menu and allowed his complete frustration to settle upon the restaurant’s exclusive selection of locally brewed craft beers.

The Onion, of course.

If this were real life Metzger’s name would be Jerry and he’d be complaining about the place not having Miller Lite.

Trinity College To Charge $71,660 Next Year

Some school in Connecticut.

One of the Little Ivies.

I have no idea if the networking and signalling a student gets from graduating from Trinity are worth the expense. I do bet it is a pretty nice place.

5th Anniversary Party Today…

Community Beer Co.

It’s been very cold.

So while checking the weather, I came across this Aussie who had developed a fondness for Mexican weather reporting:

Sexual Harassment at Work

The following is a work in progress:

All,

Ted and Anne asked me, in advance of the sales meeting in February, to address the new company policy on sexual harassment.

Many of you may be wondering why I was asked. It really is simple. I’m clearly the best person in the company to address this issue because as we’ve all heard me say a hundred times, “I’m all by myself in Dallas.”

My first day of work was the Immaculate Inception. Hence, I’m without original sin. There is no one here for me to harass. Even if I wanted to, which I don’t since I’ve never been one to harass. Since working conditions are what they are for the rest of the company, Anne and Ted have recognized that I’m best suited to address the topic.

So without further explanation, let me address how we are going to handle ourselves at the sales training session.

First upon arrival at the sales meeting: There will be absolutely no touching. This includes “faire la bise.” We are reviewing this cheek kissing thing and are considering making its practice a firing offense. When this is decided upon, we will make any updates in the personnel manual available on the X drive. You will have to acknowledge that you’ve read the incorporated updates.

Second: Since we’re not going to allow any cheek kissing, it follows that we are going to make hugs out of bounds too.

Third: handshakes are questionable conduct too.

If there must be any physical contact between employees fist bumps are considered the least harmless.

But let us be clear: exploding fist bumps will not be allowed as that clearly leads to a workplace that harbors violence. Exploding fist bumps will result in security being asked to escort you off the premises of the sales meeting. And those Miele guys are tough!

Suggested manner in which to greet the coworker you’ve not seen for a year or more: Simply nod your head in their general direction. Smiles are discouraged as some of you may smile in a brighter fashion toward favorites and less brightly towards those you don’t know as well.

The story does smell…

19 reasons this story “survival” story smells fishy – Unreasonably Dangerous Onion Rings

I thought that scum on the boat was suspect.

Visions Of Johanna (Alternate Take)

Bob Dylan – Visions Of Johanna (Alternate Take)

I like this version.

Laughed Out Loud

At this comment over at Steve Sailer’s place:

The school board has also voted to replace the word “how” with the phrase, “in what manner” in all future school communications.

That is currently comment #9 at this post of Sailer’s.

Tom Petty, RIP

Werewolf Paradise

Werewolf Paradise

My post for this month.